In the beginning...

An overzealous girl and her gullible mother hatched a plan. With easy access to wool felt and sequins, the pair produced a large fellowship of gnomes of varying shapes and sizes to commemorate the 30th birthday of their dearly loved sister/daughter, Fuzzball.*

*Names have been changed to protect the innocent victims of 1980's home perms.

All Creatures Great and Small

Welcome to Christmases past and present. If you look hard, you might even see the future.

Pig...er Gnome Pile

Travel Buds

Fuzzball has traveled the world over, so selecting just a few representative countries was a tall order. We ended up going with countries specializing in slivo, gelato, and fricadellas. Three guesses as to the actual countries. First person with three correct identifications will win a gnome. (Country of origin tbd.)

Gnomenculture class photo

As always, the class clown is mooning the camera.

Smart. Ass.

Our fuzzball is smart. Nobody puts one over on her.

She can also be an ass. (Okay, fine, maybe I'm biased as the big sis.)

Gnome playing rummy (and drinking gin?)

We felt strongly at least one of the gnomes should represent Fuzzball's card-playing prowess. She will annihilate you at gin rummy. Don't even try cribbage. You might get lucky with pinochle. Focus on multi-player solitaire, and maybe, must maybe, you'll score a win.

St. Nick

One Christmas Eve, many long years ago, I snuck out to the hearth with a flashlight to perform an advance inspection on the goods Santa left behind. I ran into Fuzzball, also inspecting stockings and piles of presents with her own flashlight. After scaring the daylights out of each other, we carefully inspected each treasure left behind by Santa, then decided that she might as well sleep in my bed for the rest of the night so that we might discuss the treasures in detail. From then on, a yearly tradition was born.

What color?

A note for the ages: I make no claims to my mother's half-square triangles. None whatsoever. Fuzzball, it's all you. Go for it. The quilting treasure trove is all yours.

Strong Aversion

We knew Fuzzball really liked her boyfriend when she reported that one of their dates involved going to the movies. It had to be true love if Fuzzball was seen anywhere near a movieplex.

Natural Habitat

Growing up, our grandmother made us mittens on a string. Unfortunately, gnomes don't have hands, which means you will not find a gnome with variegated rainbow mittens running around this site. What you will find, however, is a skier gnome with a fun tufted cap. We thought it an appropriate representation of one of Fuzzball's favorite things to do.

Import. Export. Repeat.

Fuzzball works for a great company that is engaged in importing and exporting stuff from all over the world. Lucky for her, mandatory retirement age isn't 30.

Wild Thing

It wouldn't be appropriate to have a passel of gnomes without including a bit of wildlife.

Gnight Gnome

When you turn off the lights, this gnome look like a glow-in-the-dark slug. Or maybe not.

Fuzzball vede la luce

Gelato, gelato meraviglioso. La vita è dolce.

The Pox Be With You

The chicken pox gnome. A personal favorite, and the gnome most often kidnapped by Dara. When he's not found watching reruns of the Brady Bunch, you can find him taking a calamine lotion bath.

Go Griz!

Bobcats are not allowed in this family!

Ah, Maine

Lahhhb-stah. Caaahh-ddds. Maaaayyy-ners. The only thing missing here is a moose.

Bridal Plans

Big news: Fuzzball will be wearing wedding attire not all that long after turning 30.

And she's not the bridesmaid this time.
And we're thrilled. Even if the groom is wearing orange shoes.

Lots of hunting and just a bit of gathering.

Given that Fuzzball is an accomplished archer and frequent hunter, we thought it appropriate that a few of her gnomes blended in to the scenery. Small gnome-sized gun and hunting blind not included.

Govorim savršeno srpskom

I speak "purrrrrrrrr-fect eeeeeeeeeennnn-gleeesh."
- Uncle Novo

Childhood nicknames

Fuzzball and Miss Priss. The origins:

Fuzzball: bad perm.

Miss Priss: refusal to *enjoy* mucking out pig poop. Sheesh. Some people.

School Days

Basketball, music and Key Club. Perhaps we should refer to these three characters as the Gnomenculture version of a letterman's jacket?

Amish

Because hey, why not?

Soon-To-Be-Mr. Fuzzball - Now With More Cowbell

Orange shoes pounding the pavement. Trotting, some might say.

Others might call it runner's trots. Mittens first. Then leaves.


Then, finally, the finish line. At last.

The Danish Gnome

Gudskelov Fuzzball lykkedes at tæmme hendes hår på det tidspunkt, hun gik til Danmark.

The Days Of Swine And Clover

An active member of 4-H, Fuzzball participated in the market hog project for more years than we can remember. We do recall, though, warm summer nights of chasing hogs around the back pasture attempting to keep them within the confines of the fence. Her nails were not as well groomed then as they are now!

Garden Gnomes

As a small child, Fuzzball *hated* working in the family garden. Actually, hate is probably too tame. She loathed gardening. She faked headaches to get out of pulling weeds. She would gladly accept household chores like dusting and vacuuming the entire house rather than spend an extra minute in the garden.

Despite her childhood aversion, Fuzzball has matured into a prolific gardener. The garden gnome celebrates our favorite garden produce, including the beets on her fashionable pointed hat.

The pattern

Interested in making your own passel of gnomes? We used the "NOM" pattern by Aimee Ray, which may be located here or here. Through the wonders of photocopying, we were able to create three gnome sizes to generate varied statures for our squatty-bodied friends.